The power of Sankofa. In Ghana, West
Africa, the word “Sankofa” means to 'reach back and get it.' This
phrase is often symbolized by the Asante Adinkra symbol of a bird,
with his head looking backwards towards the middle of his back in
order to pick up an egg that had been resting there. Reach back and
get it; meaning, your heritage, your history, or something from your
past that was lost, but is sorely needed now. One cannot move forward
without claiming the past. You must reach back and get it, and savor
the gifts within your egg. The bird flies forward while looking
backwards at the past, in order to assure the future journey will be
fruitful. Another symbol representing Sankofa is a stylized heart;
which brings me to my message. Once again, I am speaking of love.
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| Sankofa-2 by StaceyTorresART |
Love has a tendency to spin things to
appear to be what they are not. Like things we hope for and long for.
Some of us live for it. Love can be elusive, fleeting in its
appearances, and will often take leave for years; decades even. Love
can come and go in and out of our lives throughout these years. And,
for a few fortunate souls, love can stay and last a lifetime. But,
sometimes we have to remember that love may be misplaced at times,
and we think it is lost forever. Yet, if we look back to our past and
gather our eggs, we move forward with clarity, and love will find us.
Not long ago, a close friend introduced
me to another very close friend of hers. It was a casual
introduction, certainly not intended as a “hookup” or a
matchmaking effort. She was merely introducing her friends to each
other. However, there was something more – much more.
Very quickly, we discovered we had more
things in common than most people do in several lifetimes. Both of us
had cared for our mothers, who have since passed on. We like the same
things -- unusual, quirky things that few people could even relate
to. Within a few short days, our lives became entwined, in a
wonderful positive way, and life as I knew it would never be the
same. I suppose it's safe to assume life for him has changed as well,
but I won't speak on his behalf. Things are still quite new for us.
Without going into details, “smitten” would be a good word to use
to describe our current situation.
The grin on my face feels permanent, my
outlook on life is much lighter. I am happy. I have not been nor felt
happy in many, many years. I sing again. I laugh a lot more. I feel
giddy … silly … much like a school girl – an almost 62 year old
school girl. There is peace and sweetness in my life again, and the
pain and darkness from the not too distant past is beginning to fade
more and more each day.
So, what does the power of Sankofa have
to do with all of this? Well, one evening during one of our marathon
telephone conversations, I mentioned something about a building I
once lived in many years ago in Indianapolis. This prompted some
distant memories and several questions ensued. It was then that we
realized we had actually met briefly 34 years ago. On that night, we
shared a pot of tea and talked for hours; much like we do today. But,
what happened to us? How did I let him get away? How did he? We don't
know … nor do we really care. At that time in both our lives,
neither of us were ready for each other in any way. We needed to
grow, to live and experience love, hurt, disappointment, joys, grief
and tragedy all in our own time, in our own ways. While our lives did
have some parallels, we simply were not prepared to even know each
other. Life had to happen. Love had to happen. And, love had to leave
in order for the process to continue. Our pasts had to happen in
order for us to journey towards our futures. And, as our lives began
to unfold and open like a late blooming rose, love came back again.
At a time when I truly thought all was
hopelessly gone … When I believed that love only happens to the
young and those who have been steady on the path … When I believed
it was all over for me, and I was ready to just give up on everything
and resign myself to being an old cat lady (without the cats), love
stepped out of the shadows and offered the egg.
My guy has an amazing mind for
remembering millions of song lyrics. And he's fond of an old Cole
Porter tune, “What Is This Thing Called Love?” Well, we don't
know. What it is to me, may not be for him, or vice versa. However,
it seems to work for us. We're just enjoying the view and basking in
the comfort of each other and our new-found friendship. Last night,
he told me that when he woke up in the morning, he felt completely
surrounded and engulfed with love. I'm still trying to imagine what
that feels like. I'll be honest, he remembers far more about that
night in 1979 than I do. At first I doubted his revelation, but his
recollection of the evening – of me – and other details validate
our little miracle.
Last month, I wrote about what “Love
Is.” It can be so many different things to everyone – it does not
have to be about romance, but it should always be about passion. Your
love of your family, your friends, a career, a pet … anything …
Put your all into that love. As we all know, life is so terribly
brief. Grab what you love and hold it dear. And, of course, give as
much back – and then some. Please don't deny the ones dearest to
you the knowledge that you love and care for them. Tomorrow is not a
promise; nor is the next hour.
What I realize now, is love never
really leaves. It stays around, but not necessarily in the way we
expect or hope it will. Sometimes we don't recognize it. In my life,
I know I have loved many people; and in all due respect, many men.
And, I am being candid when I admit I've never been in love until
now. And for what it's worth – whatever this thing called love is …
whether it be for a minute, a year, or if it is the beginning of
everlasting … Love is Always Here to Stay. Open your heart, and
reach back and get it.
Stacey Torres is an artist, dancer, and
the author of “Jewels Of My Soul,” available on www.amazon.com.
First Published in The Courier-Times, September 27, 2015
