I can't believe this happened to me

In July 2016, I was contacted by The Janice Mason Art Museum in Cadiz, Kentucky inviting me to present a solo art exhibit. Immediately, I understood the magnitude of this offer. Giving a one-woman art show is amazing enough. But to be asked by a museum is golden. As coveted as a gallery exhibit would be, a museum show is the cream on the berries and is priceless on an artist's resume.

I eventually accepted the invitation, having no idea what this would involve. I almost considered backing out, but the Museum staff made it very clear that they wanted to show my work, and that they particularly wanted to show it in the cold, dismal winter months. Because my art is extremely colorful and bold, the idea was to bring some brightness into an otherwise bland and often depressing season. I agreed to go ahead with it, and thus, my show named, “COLOR STORM: If Not Now; When?” materialized.

I thought five months would be sufficient time to pull this off. Well, it would be had I been more adept at preparing my artwork to be “gallery-ready.” This undertaking was huge! The framing, matting, wrapping, labels/tags, preparing an extensive spread sheet with the details of the 70 paintings I planned to exhibit, damage control, coordinating mediums and themes, and the pricing. Beyond that, many paintings needed to be re-worked.

Also, framing is an expensive luxury for some artists. I relied upon professional framing for group exhibits, etc., and, most likely, I will again. But with this many paintings, I decided to try and do some of the presentation process myself (with a little help from my artist friends). I've learned to do some of this. But, let's face it, I'm just not good in this area.

So, I put in hours of work preparing my art to go to Kentucky in December. The show would open on January 5, and run until February 25. The Museum agreed to transport my paintings to and from my home and the Cadiz. I stressed and worried, and worked well into the early morning hours for weeks on new paintings. My home looked like a war zone with paintings crowded in my living room as I cataloged the entire collection. I couldn't breathe, and suffered anxious panic attacks, bouts of fear and even depression.

While most people would assume this was a joyous effort, they don't realize that art IS work. It is the work I do, and it is my intent to do the very best I am able. A representative from the museum arrived at my home on a Saturday when most of Indiana was coated in ice. I fretted over his safety in making the 5+ hour journey here, as well as his return to Kentucky. And then, it was my plan to rest and breathe. But, of course, I didn't. My adrenaline has been rushing about for months.

Yesterday, I and two friends journeyed to Southern Kentucky for my Meet The Artist Reception, which had originally been scheduled for last week, but yet another ice storm made it impossible to travel. It was a most remarkable day forever embedded in my crazy Book of Life.

First of all, The Janice Mason Art Museum is a delightful venue housed in a former Post Office building. It's absolutely perfect for showing art, with it's beautiful architecture, antique P.O. boxes and character. I was greeted by someBoard Members, and guests from the community, including several artists from Trigg County, Kentucky.

This was a fabulous experience for me; an opportunity many only dream of. But what really touched me was the community of Cadiz itself. A small city with a vastly diverse group of people of different races and cultures living and working in a remarkably harmonious way for the betterment of their city, county, their families and the arts. Last night, we attended a community fund raising supper celebrating the 30^th Anniversary of “Genesis Express,” a civic organization that benefits children through various programs. Watching these folks working together and interacting with mutual love and respect was reminiscent of days gone by, when that was the norm everywhere in this country. It was a reminder that we are all one, and need to take care of each other – ALL of us. Not just what's best for me, you, us, them, and they – ALL of US!

Out of the darkness, COLOR STORM brought me to see the light. Why can't we all treat each other with loving kindness and make it all great again that way? If Not Now; When?

Soon He Will Be Home

The warm, savory aroma of a beautiful turkey slow roasting in the oven gently coats the tiny kitchen with warmth and security … comfort food. Only, it's not a turkey, but a small, chicken in a foil pan with a few potatoes, carrots and onions adorning the sides. It sure smells like turkey. But some moms are just like that. They do what they have to do with what they have, and make magic happen every night. On top of the stove is a small worn pot half filled with a thin gravy and a few biscuits warm in a pan.

The drafty apartment is small, with just one bedroom … his. She sleeps on the sofa, where she shields her eyes from the flashing neon signs across from their fourth floor flat, with an old blanket she pulls over her head. But, tonight she is not sleeping. It happens to be Christmas night, and she's waiting up for him. The two of them share this small space, along with simple dreams, hopes, joys, sadness; all the things many mothers and sons share these days.

Madonna by Stacey Torres

She worries about him. Tonight he is working – volunteering, actually – at a suicide crises center, talking courage and hope into the people who sometimes call in, lost in their dark desperation … hoping to find some strength and purpose with their lives when all else has abandoned them. Her son is very good at this, apparently. Always full of hope and logic, his gentle way of accepting others and walking them through their issues comes natural to him. Her husband died a few years ago, and the two of them barely get by.

The mother didn't really want her son to go out this evening; after all, it is Christmas – and his birthday. But he explains to her that this night, more than most others, is a very crucial time for people who are lost, depressed, and suffering from ravaged hearts and souls. “They need me,” he tells her. And knowing this to be true, she resigns herself to wait up for him so they may share a simple Christmas supper together later that night.

This night is no different than any other to her. She frets and agonizes over her son constantly. You see, he is different. His tall graceful presence, with those dark eyes and skin cause him to stand apart from others in a unique unearthly way. People have taunted him, mocked and even threatened him because he was different. Because his beliefs are different, and he looks at the world and humanity differently. They assume the worst in him, and judge him without knowing him – or her. He lives in a world where he is constantly profiled by people who live in fear and ignorance. The mother fears there will be no generation in their family after him. That's just the way things are now. She hopes he will be home soon.

Many years ago on a Christmas night, the aroma of a wild foul boiling in an earthenware pot over some embers out in the courtyard is both comforting and tantalizing. There, she sits and waits as her unleavened pancakes bake on hot stones.

He is late again. Out with his friends working on his birthday. As always, she is worried about him. His work takes him to places and people she is she feels are dangerous for him. But deep in her heart she knows it's what he is meant to do. It's his life's work.

He spends day and weeks talking to people; teaching them ways to live a more fulfilling life, and giving them courage and hope when they are lost in their dark desperation. He has fed the hungry, comforted the sick, and is always accepting of others.

Her husband died a few years before their son began his work. And, now the two of them live a modest and humble life, and she trusts his judgment and decisions.

She knows, however, there is nothing she can do but support his dreams and his wishes. The long hours spent talking and sharing these hopes tells her that he is accepting of his calling and ultimate fate. All she can do is be there for him.

The son has told his mother that he has been taunted, followed, threatened and mocked by people who do not know or trust him. She frets and agonizes over her son constantly. You see, he is different. His tall graceful presence, with those dark eyes and skin cause him to stand apart from others in a unique unearthly way. Some love him and respect what he teaches them. But there are many he feels threatened by. He is judged and profiled by people who live in fear and ignorance. The mother fears there will be no generation in their family after him. That's just the way things were then. She hopes he will soon be home.

Originally published in The Courier-Times, December 2016

Being Thankful - It's Not That Hard

And so, today is the first Sunday in Advent – or, the beginning of the Advent Season, which runs until Christmas Eve. And then, we have the 12 Days of Christmas, which begin on Christmas Day through Epiphany on January 6. Complicated? Not at all. If you put it in the context of what it is, and not what it has become. In the merchandising world, the Christmas season trumps everything from Labor Day on, running right over Advent, and reluctantly leaving on Christmas night so the stores can start stocking their Valentine's Day cards.

But to us Christians, the Advent Season was meant to be a profound time that prepared us for the miracles of Christmas. It was meant to be used as a simple time to reflect, wait and breathe in the peace and warmth that our bodies, souls and minds so crave. In a way, this peaceful time helps us to replenish ourselves after a year of stress, conflict, broken promises, pain, fears, anger and challenges. At least, ideally that's what it should be. And, this year, more than any other in our history thus far – we need to – as a people; not just Christians – but all of us, breathe in the peace and let go of the toxic negativity we have allowed into our hearts, our homes and frequently spills out of our mouths.

We have much to be thankful for … not what we have wished for or wanted; not for what we have or have gained; not even for healing. But, instead, we need to learn to be thankful for what we've gone through and have survived. The trials that were put before us – we got through them, and we're here … with beating pulses and a purpose. There is still time to set our hearts right – to love and be loved in return – and to do unto others the way we all deserve to be treated and cared for.

Last week, I was challenged by a friend to be verbally silent for a minimum of 24 hours. Miraculously, I completed the challenge, which was peaceful, enjoyable and awakened some things within me that have overslept way too long. Prior to the start of me keeping my mouth shut for a day, I had a beautiful conversation with a wonderful woman I have not seen since I was a young child. We connected on social media a few months ago, but this was the first time I called her on the phone. I could hear my mother's voice urging me to call and reach out to this remarkable woman.

The lady and my mother met in college in the 1940s, and were good friends until my mother's passage last year. But I called her, and we chatted for a good hour. This woman, who is now 90 years of age, is sharp and vibrant, active in the arts and her community, as she always has been. At this time, she is in the process of writing three books, and recently received the Key to her City for all of her years of dedication to keeping our history and culture alive, while teaching young women and men to prepare themselves for the world. She kept telling me she wanted to see me, and that she'd be there for me – as another mother, should I feel that need – but, ultimately as my friend. This has become the norm for me lately. I've found myself being friends with my late mother's peers and associates, and it has been wonderful. So, here is another beautiful soul placed in my life to help fill a tender void.

New beginnings are here for us to make the most of. During this Advent season, regardless of your faith, use this time to replenish your spirit, your heart and the goodness you brought on this earth with you. Breathe in the peace and warmth of this season. And, exhale the negativity, fears and hate that may have crept in when you weren't looking. Be grateful for the here and now. And above all, be kind to one another.

First published by The Courier-Times in November 2016