This year, in my own
simple way, I am celebrating FRIENDSGIVING in lieu of Thanksgiving.
Giving thanks is something I do every day, and most recently with due
diligence. However, Friendsgiving is a practice many have adopted –
some without even realizing it.
Friendsgiving is a casual
potluck supper where the host often prepares a turkey (or other
festive meat or main dish of choice), and guests bring their
favorite side dish or specialty; no matter how humble or elaborate.
The gathering is often the Wednesday before or the Friday after
Thanksgiving. But it can also be held on Thanksgiving Day for all
practical reasons. In fact, Friendsgiving can be any day in autumn.
The idea is for friends to
gather together to celebrate their friendships, reflecting upon how
they met, and how they all have cultivated and valued their ties
together. There are many people who are far away from home, at school
or work, without families of their own, or who have lost their loved
ones. Friendsgiving allows them the opportunity to give thanks and
feast together. It is also customary to include new friends or
acquaintances in the spirit of fellowship. Their friends have become
family.
Friends are very precious
gems. Sometimes we take them for granted. But we all have people who
have come in and out of our lives randomly throughout the years.
Sometimes they stay a while; some leave without warning; and there
are some who are there for the duration; often returning after
decades of going our separate ways, yet never losing touch.
But there is a unique and
glorious type of friend also – the ones you know, or barely know,
who perform acts of great love, compassion and humanity towards you –
when you least expect it, and when you most need it. I call these
friends “Pearls.”
This is not what I
intended to write about this month; even as things began to unfold in
my life during the last few weeks, I did not want to write about
this. But there is no way I cannot. Now that I have seen first hand
how brief and fragile life is, I must address this subject for the
goodwill of all of us.
On October 30, I developed
severe abdominal pains on my right side, radiating to my back. It was
excruciating, and by Friday I was heaving and regurgitating blood. My
neighbor, a retired nurse, rushed me out to the ER, where their
initial thought was I had gastroenteritis. I was admitted for
overnight observation. My neighbor stayed with me, even going up to
my room with me and helping me answer questions during my admission.
She also volunteered (with trepidation, however) to help Rudy, my
not-very-friendly Blue Heeler, who was left at home unattended. This
in itself is huge, because he suffers from fear aggression, and most
people are afraid of him. As an animal lover, she took it upon
herself to be his caregiver as long as was needed without bloodshed
or drama. He continues to pretend not to like her. She has also
checked on me diligently and made sure I was okay at home alone. And
took it upon herself to spruce up some of my landscaping. How can you
not love a Pearl?
My overnight observation
turned into a four-night stay. I was much sicker than originally
thought. There was no gastroenteritis, instead, a UTI (urinary tract
infection), which dehydrated me, causing my kidneys to fail and
ultimately, I developed Septicemia. When I learned this, I was
devastated and terrified. For three nights, I suffered through fever,
hallucinations and violent body tremors. But it was my decision to
fight like hell, and rather than stay for weeks and weeks passively
allowing the sepsis to take me out, my doctors deemed me fit to go
home in short measure.
It was upon returning home
when reality set in and I immediately sank into a deep depression
filled with fear, anxiety and the terror of what I had experienced.
Mostly, my emotional state was haunted by the fact that this was the
first time I truly needed my mother's presence, and she was not
there. Delayed grief soaked me like a wet blanket, and I cried and
prayed, and cried and prayed some more.
Then, I met with a
urologist who informed me that I have a rare kidney stone that comes
from a genetic condition. This stone is what set all of the other
conditions in motion; beginning with the UTI.
Soon some other Pearls
began to appear – like those angels unaware we hear about. The
morning after I arrived home, a Pearl left some cans of soup on my
front door. Another Pearl made me beef stew, corn muffins and a small
pan of brownies, along with a basket of fruit and bath tissue. This
Pearl also took me to a few doctors appointments. One lustrous Pearl
made me my favorite meal; liver and onions! A very dear Pearl brought
me a turkey dinner that lasted me a few days. And, another Pearl
brought me a very special lunch on Sunday. Then there was a rare
Pearl who unexpectedly helped cover some expenses without my
knowledge, removing a tremendous burden from me. Of course, there
were those who visited, called and wrote me. My mother would be very
happy to know how many people have shown their love and support for
me. This was her biggest fear that after she left, I would not be
cared for; not so. This is how Pearls come together and form the
friendship strand that binds us all together.
My surgical procedure to
blast my kidney stone was scheduled for November 23. Let me tell you,
I'm the most frightened wuss on earth. Immediately, I began to fret
and worry; not one for hospitals or procedures I'm not familiar with.
I won't lie – I've been scared! Mostly, I worry because I'm alone
and don't know what to expect, still recovering from my hospital
stay. But, other Pearls in the strand have reassured and comforted me
with their experiences and expert knowledge. Yet, more than anything,
all of my Pearls have covered me with their wisdom and undying faith
in our Creator. I am told I have many, many “prayer warriors”
lifting me up. I am certain it is these glowing Pearls who have
helped me through this thus far, along with my fierce faith in God.
My personal relationship with Him has grown stronger – as I am.
So, hopefully, by the time
you read this article, I will have successfully made it through this
procedure (yes, lots of people have it done every day; but remember,
I'm a wuss); passed said stone fragments with little disturbance to
my neighbors; and, I will have ideally celebrated my 62nd
Birthday yesterday.
But most of
all, with or without a big feast, in my heart I will have – and
will spiritually continue to celebrate Friendsgiving with all of my
Pearls – As I will for the rest of my days.
As Seen in THE COURIER-TIMES
